You Can't Pretend Forever
by BeKindToYourself
Summary: What if you had to hide yourself away and act like a completely different person? What if you had done it for all of high school? And what if a boy named Kurt Hummel were to see through your facade? Jock!Blaine Klaine!
1. Chapter 1

As I walk through the doors for the first time since last June, I realize how much I hated McKinley High. Even now, when everyone is happy and greeting friends they haven't seen since the end of last year. Out of everything I hate at this school, what I hate the most is probably that I'm a total fake. I hide myself behind a red letterman jacket and pretend. _Pretend, pretend, pretend. _That's my creed.

I pretend that I'm glad to be reunited with Azimio and Karofsky, the school's two resident assholes. I pretend that I'm upset my locker is placed in the middle of the "Glee Freaks" as the jocks call them, when I'm actually very amused by Berry's non-stop blabbering to anyone who would listen about New York.

_New York. _I knew that's where I want to be. I want to be in New York, in a shoe-box apartment, taking walks downtown showing off my amazing collection of bow ties, with my boyfriend on my arm. But alas, what we want isn't always what we get. I will get it someday, but for now I'm okay with just pretending.

* * *

I enter my advanced French Class, my first class of the day. I look around the room to find that none of the jocks are here. This doesn't surprise me seeing as this is an advanced class, and I'm the only jock to show even a fiber of intelligence. Most of the seats taken are near the door. I'd like to tell you there was some logic behind it, but it was probably just due to laziness. I roll my eyes at the kids around me who were bound to stay in Lima their whole lives.

There is a seat in the back by the window, which I quickly grab. I'm fairly separated from the rest of the class, which I don't mind at all. In my middle school years, I was almost always alone. No one wanted to be seen with the Flaming Homo that wore bow ties and cardigans. I am almost saddened by the memory, but it reminds me why I have to pretend. I have to until I'm out I'm Lima, then I can be me.

I'm brought back to the real world by an elegant grace slipping into the seat next to me. My head snaps to where the person just sat down, wondering why someone would sit by the short jock who isolated themselves in a corner.

I try to stuffle my gasp as much as I can when I see who it is.

_Kurt Hummel. _

He is sitting straight up, looking around the room with a adorably curious expression. His chestnut hair is coiffed to perfection as always, adding an extra inch or two on to his already tall stature. He is wearing a blue sweater that matches his beautiful glatz eyes. His ridiculously tight black skinny jeans highlighted his long, lean legs. He smelled like vanilla, but a musky vanilla. The perfect mix of feminine and masculine. Perfect seemed to be the only word I could ever use to describe someone as paradisiacal as Kurt. Ever since I transferred in Freshman Year, I had always admired Kurt.

I laughed to myself. Saying I _admired _him was the understatement of the century. It was more of an oogle-him-at-any-possible-moment sort of ordeal. I quickly realized I was staring. Before anyone could notice anything I looked away. With burning ears I vigorously organized my designated notebook and folder for French. I could see out of the corner of my eye that Kurt was doing the same. Luckily at that time Ms. Scarpino, our new French Teacher decides to make introductions.

I started to zone out after about 30 seconds. I mean c'mon? How many times can you tell a class to not talk when they're talking and raise their hands and all that shit? Apparently there wasn't a limit. However I did start to listen once she got past all the generic rules.

"Tomorrow, I will have your desks in groups of fours, to begin the Start-Of-The-Term project! You and your team will have 2 weeks to arrange a oral or visual presentation on French culture. Each group will have a designated topic such as Music, Art, Politics and so on!"

I couldn't even fool myself when I tried to believe that I was so upset because I hated working with "Lima Losers". It wasn't because I wouldn't be sitting next to the blue-eyed beauty beside me for the rest of the year. Not at all. I tried to sneak a glance at him again by pretending to drop my pencil. I turned to reach for it, to see that Kurt had already picked it up and looked at him expectantly. What did he expect? I couldn't do anything but look at his extreme gorgeousness! Until I realized I was staring…again. I began to blush and quickly grabbed the pencil muttering a quick thank you. After making a total ass of myself in class, one thing was sure. I had to get a grip on myself or else this was going to be a long year.

* * *

At lunch I sat quietly at the jock table, eating my sandwich and listening to the jocks swap summer stories. It was mostly about girls, sex and video games; but I was used to it. I was always the quiet one of the team. Sometimes I went over to Puck or Hudson's house for a Halo tournament, but my main purpose was only to add power to the jocks, seeing as power came in numbers. I was never the one lifted up after the Champion game, or the Golden Boy of McKinley. Not that it bothered me. What bothered me was that I didn't even want that in the slightest. Because I wanted to be on a stage. Not on a field.

"Anderson, bro! How was your summer?" Finn Hudson, one of the nicer (however slightly dumb) jocks asked me. Finn was dating Rachel Berry, the powerhouse of the Glee Club, so he was naturally nice with everyone if he could deal with someone like Rachel.

"Good, good." I said with a small smile. "How about you?"

"It was awesome! But now I need some new members for Glee," he said with a small pout coming over his face. "You know anyone?" he asked hopefully.

_Me. Me. ME! _ I wanted to scream. But I have been upholding my facade for over 3 years. It seemed pointless to give it up now. But I didn't want to lie to the good-natured boy. So I just shrugged. Finn however hardly seemed satisfied.

"That means you do!" Finn, apparently the all knowing mind reader exclaimed. I only shrugged again, which added more fuel to the fire. Finn started guessing names, each getting more and more absurd. The bell soon rang signaling the end of lunch. I patted Finn on the back.

"Maybe another day." I said with a small chuckle leaving the tall teen with a confused yet determined look on his face.

* * *

My second to last class of the day was thankfully Music. Music was obviously my favorite class. I helped me relax and let out stress through the various instruments and of course the microphone. However the only kids that shared that passion with me is all the glee kids. Every single member of glee from my year was the class as well as a few stoners that probably didn't even know where they were.

I try to avoid looking at Kurt and making an ass of myself for the third time today, I also try to avoid Finn's leering eyes and questioning me about who I knew that could sing. I sit near the middle, by the quiet Asian boy named Mike. I relaxed into my chair and began to look around the room as I'd done for all my new classes today. My newfound relaxation didn't last for long. Finn got up from his seat next to Kurt a few rows up and began an annoying mantra of _Who is it, Blaine? _I tried to ignore him even though I knew it would not work forever.

"What the hell are you on about Tubs?" Santana Lopez said in her normal snide voice.

Finn, far from offended replied "Blaine knows someone who can sing, and sing good!" Well shit. Now he's done it. Suddenly a bunch of gleeks were surrounding me demanding to know who it must really must be desperate for members. I'm not going to lie I was kind of scared. I tried to look around for help somewhere. Through the swarm of people I saw Kurt smirking at all his friends while still sitting in his seat. When he looked at me and saw my obviously panicked face and chuckled. Knowing that that laugh was directed at me sent butterflies fluttering through my stomach. I gave him a pouty look and my best puppy eyes and mouthed _Help?_ His face changed to something of shock before he got up and walked over to the rest of his friends.

"You guys! We need members, yes, but don't kill the guy!" Kurt yelled to his friends. Everyone realized how intrusive they were being and sat back down. Even Finn, after a promise of figuring it out. He looked at Kurt thankfully smiling. Kurt smiled back and strutted away swinging his hips slightly. My eyes couldn't help but travel to his ass, but I quickly looked up when I realized where I was. _Focus on the music, Blaine!_

* * *

I let out a long sigh of relief when the final bell rang. It was going to be a long year. The classes were harder, and the homework was at least doubled from last year it seemed. And my feelings for Kurt seemed to be undeniable and stronger then they have ever been. Football try-outs were next week, and I had to try-out and get in to keep up his jock reputation. On top of all of it, he was sure that Finn would be relentless in figuring out who the mysterious singer was. And once he realized it was me, he would beg me to join glee.

_And it's only the first day.._


	2. Finn's House

I've always been that one kid that was friendly with everyone, but never really had a best friend to call my own. Even my teammates, who I have had hung out with were never really friends. This year has already thrown so many curve balls at me that I can barely keep up! I would have never thought last year I would be friends with Finn Hudson.

At first he was just begging me to tell him who the secret singer was, but after a day or two we started talking about our favorite football teams, different music, and our classes. We would talk in lunch and if we saw each other in the hallway, but after the first three days of school we swapped phone numbers. It was nice just to talk about light stuff with someone else. I gave him advice about Rachel, but other than that we've never gotten too deep.

I haven't talked to Kurt since the first day of school when he saved me from his psychotic friends. That doesn't stop me from staring at him or eavesdropping on his locker conversations with Rachel about New York. It made me happy that we shared the same dreams, and I knew we would be amazing friends, (even if i wanted to be much more) but my damn stupidity around him from the first day of school makes me feel discouraged.

"Dude!" Finn plopped down in the seat next to me obviously excited about something.

"What?"

"Football tryouts today! You still trying out for kicker?" Finn asked. We had talked yesterday about it. We agreed that I would do a lot better as a kicker with my small and agile body.

"Totally" I said with a grin. Even if my passion was performing, football was a close second. Finn smiled and started talking about the competition for the Quarterback and kicker positions. Our competitors didn't sound that good, so I wasn't scared. Finn started again, "Glee boys are having a video game night at my house Friday, you gotta come!"

I accepted of course, but I was curious. In Freshman year, the few times we had a video game night were always at the Hudson's. Carole, Finn's mom was always nice and made good food. In sophomore and junior year it was never at Finn's place. I asked once or twice why that was so, but Finn would get obviously irritated and mutter "Family issues". He must be doing better though so I said yes.

I was coming off a blissful high. I got in! I'm Kicker! I jumped into a shower and felt the hot water loosen my sore muscles, which only added to my happy state. All the other guys were gone. I make sure to shower once everyone is gone to avoid accidental...peeking which would make everything bad. I took advantage of the alone time and the amazing acoustics in the shower room to let out some of my emotions. By singing of course.

**Come on, babe**

**Why don't we paint the town?**

**And all that jazz. **

I continued through the song with ease, this being my go-to song when I am happy. Toward the end of the song I could've sworn someone was watching me, but I brushed it off. I got dressed quickly and headed out to my car, but I was stopped by a tap on the shoulder. I turned around to see who it was. I was greeted by none other than Berry.

She looked at me with her intense brown eyes, obviously having a bone to pick. She began to talk. "Hello Blaine. I heard you singing in the shower. Your vocals are quite impressive for someone with no proper training. Although, you are singing the higher notes without proper diction. Something I've never had trouble with." Classic Rachel Berry. Compliment you backhandedly and show how she was so much better than you, all in one breath. I was still very happy though, so I just laughed.

"Nice to see you too, Rachel." I said with a hint of sarcasm.

"I could do without the sarcasm. Anyways I need to talk to you." Before I could ask what she needed to talk to me about she cut me off. "You have to audition for Tony." What? Audition for- what is she on about? The confusion must have shown on my face. Rachel groaned. "Glee? Our school musical? West Side Story?"

Oh! Finn was talking to me about that earlier but I totally forgot. But I was still confused. Of course I knew West Side Story. I knew it like the back of my hand. But why does Rachel want me to play Tony? There are plenty of other boys better fit for the part. I asked Rachel that and she just rolled her eyes.

"What about Finn?" I prompted

"Too tall."

Artie?"

"He's crippled!" I try to brush off Rachel's shallowness and keep asking about the other boys, but it seems every boy has some fatal flaw.

"What about Kurt?" I finally asked. I didn't want to say his name first, afraid that I would make it obvious I liked Kurt. Rachel had two gay dads and probably an amazing gay-dar. Rachel giggled.

"Too feminine." She said. Oh, she shouldn't have done that. I felt my blood begin to boil. I was so mad. Who does she think she is? Kurt is perfect. Just because he is gay doesn't mean he can't play a male role! Boy, did I want to swear her out. But my rational side reminded me that wasn't a good idea. I wanted to say no, Kurt is a perfect Tony! She would keep pestering me though..but I couldn't say yes and steal Kurt's part from him! I puffed out a breath and said I'd think about it and practically ran to my car.

It was Friday at 8 o'clock and I was in front of the address Finn gave me. I looked at the large grey house that was amazing decorated. It was a very friendly happy looking house, but I was still very scared. What if they figured out I am gay? What if they know I like Kurt?

_Honestly Anderson. It's this paranoia that caused you to avoid Kurt for three years, then make a total ass of yourself. _Ugh. The diva inside of me was right. I stepped out of my car and walked up to the door my nerves racing. I knocked three times on the door, the loud sound of it echoing in the quietness making it sound ominous. The door flew open causing me to almost jump a foot in the air.

"Blaine!" Finn exclaimed "Come in bro!" I followed Finn into the foyer, looking around at the pale blue walls decorated masculinity but with feminine touches. _They must have an amazing interior decorator _I thought as Finn led me into the living room. This was a lot different from his living room at his old house. At his old house, there were plaid couches huddled around an old television with mismatching carpets and walls. It was still very comfy. This place was too, decorated like they foyer, giving it a sense of a modern comfy home. Even with all the boys all yelling at a screen, I felt myself relax by a ten-fold. I sat at the end of a couch closest to me next to Finn. I did a mental roll-call and everyone seemed to be here but Puck. Finn seemed to notice too.

"Okay, we can start as soon as Puck gets here! The teams are Artie, Sam and Mike and Me, Blaine and Puck." Finn announced. A large figure suddenly appeared behind Blaine and Finn putting his hand on Finn's shoulder. I turned around to see a middle-aged balding man with a baseball cap on with a plaid shirt and jeans on. His big figure should've been intimidating, but his soft face made him look nice.

"Finn, I'm going to pick your mother up at the hospital and take her out for dinner. You all good here?" The man asked.

"Yep Burt, thanks!" Finn said with a smile. Realization dawned upon me. This was Burt, Finn's stepfather. Carole had remarried to Burt, I recalled Finn telling me a few days ago. He said Burt was amazing and he got an awesome brother out of it. I hadn't met Finn's step-brother, but Finn made it sound like he was younger and very protective of him. When Finn first told me was slightly saddened. I wished that my older brother Cooper was protective of me while he still lived with us. But he was always putting me down.

As soon as I came out of my thoughts; Puck walked through the door and plopped down next to me like it was his place. _It probably was the closest he had to home. _I remember hearing once that he had a bad home life.

"Hey dudes." Puck greeted. "You ready to lose?" Puck addressed to Artie, Sam and Mike. They all laughed, used to Puck's cockiness. "Your bro playing tonight?" Puck asked Finn. Finn shook his head

"He said maybe later, but right now he has to find a perfect song." Finn said. The guys all seemed to understand, but I was a little confused. I didn't ask though. I prepared myself for the video games.

I high-five Puck and Finn having just defeated the other team. It was a close call, but turns out me and the guys on my team work well together, which will be an advantage when our football games start.

"Okay! Okay! Five minute piss break, guys, then we're back for round two!" Sam announced. All the boys ran up the stairs and I laughed. I've laughed a lot tonight. I haven't been this at ease in a while. I opened the door to the kitchen to get some water from the fridge to see that it was already occupied.

A gorgeous figure with amazing hips and long legs stood looking into the fridge swaying their hips to the music. The boy had brown hair that laid flat and baggy sweatpants on. He was wearing a sweatshirt and had earbuds in. He obviously was in pajamas,_ but boy did he look hot_. I could hear the beat of the music and it sounded like Rihanna. I wanted to look away, because I didn't even know who this was, but I couldn't. His hip swaying got raunchier and raunchier as the song went on to the point where it looked like he was just humping the air. _So. Fucking. Hot. _I couldn't help my body from reacting to the boy, until I stopped dead. _Wait! Is this Finn's brother! Shit! Shit! Not cool! _I tried to control my brush and pretend I didn't just check out Finn's brother. I pushed down my embarrassment and cooled myself down. After I felt in control enough I walked to the fridge, still needing water. I tapped the boy on the shoulder, trying not to scare him too much. The boy jumped a little bit, and whipped his head around.

Glatz eyes unlike any other stared into my eyes. _Kurt? What the hell was he doing here? Oh my god. I just got hard looking at Kurt dancing! _

"Kurt? Wait what are you doing here I thought you were Finn's brother.." I said in confusion. Even though I was so lost, I couldn't help but notice how sexy Kurt looked with his messed up hair, usually poised to perfection, and his baggy clothes making him look buff. And his red rose cheeks… Wait what?

"Blaine.." Kurt said as he looked at the floor obviously embarrassed. "How long were you standing there for?"

"Oh, um.." Shit. I was screwed. I couldn't lie, I was a horrible liar. "I-" I couldn't form words.

"Oh my god!" Kurt exclaimed sounding mortally terrified. "I'm so sorry! I probably seem like a slut now, and no I was just practicing for booty camp, and I got a little carried away. I'm so sorry please don't tell anyone!"

"Kurt." He wouldn't look at me. "Kurt, look at me." He finally looked at me and _god _that didn't help my.._problem. _"Kurt it's fine I didn't know you were here, I still don't know why you're here, but I'm not mad. I mean you were just practicing and it was really hot." OH MY GOD BLAINE DEVON ANDERSON DID YOU JUST- "I mean it was hot in the living room so-so I came into the kitchen to cool off! Yeah!" _Idiot. Idiot. Idiot. _

Kurt smiled a little. "I'm his step-brother."

"Your his wha- Oh!" Kurt is Finn's step-brother, Burt is Kurt's dad. I felt like such an idiot. "Oh, ok." Blaine said trying to somehow make it less awkward which was nearly impossible.

"Blaine! Break is over!" Finn yelled from the next room. I looked at Kurt. He still looked embarrassed."

I have to go." I said somewhat sadly. "But we should talk again, maybe in different circumstances." I joked.

"Yeah, definitely." Kurt replied.

_This is what I call progress!_


End file.
